Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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