a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
