Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
