I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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