I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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