I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
