Sry I called you an 8
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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