then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize