her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
