Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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