Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
