I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
