i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
