I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize