I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
