Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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