Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
