he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
