North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize