So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
