Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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