Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
