i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
