We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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