Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
