i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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