Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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