If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
