Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
