The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
