end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
