Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
