so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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