I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
