you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there was a trapeze. enough said
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize