4 words: hood of his car
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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