I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
