I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
