she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
