I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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