weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
