Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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