All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
