yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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