There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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