All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
