so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
