Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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