I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
