OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
