Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
