A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
