I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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