We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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