It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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