I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
