Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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