i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
