Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
