just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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