I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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