Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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