Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
