Fine. I'll sleep in my office
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
