what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
